OT: If Builders were Programmers... 
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 OT: If Builders were Programmers...

The following probably describes MS programmers more than it does any
of the regular posters in this news group ;)

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed
civilization.

Regards,

          ////
         (o o)
-oOO--(_)--OOo-

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
more people happy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Steve



Tue, 24 Feb 2004 01:44:59 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...

Quote:
> The following probably describes MS programmers more than it does any
> of the regular posters in this news group ;)

> If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
> then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed
> civilization.

> Regards,

>           ////
>          (o o)
> -oOO--(_)--OOo-

> If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
> more people happy?

It is actually quite good, and funny too. The only objection I have to the
comparison is that builders do not get to lay the foundation for the house
only to learn that the customer has changed his mind and now does not want a
four bedroom, three baths hous of 2500 sq feet, but a 10,000 sq feet
warehouse with ramps for trucks, and office space for 60 employees.

Cheers,
Luis



Tue, 24 Feb 2004 09:54:49 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...


Quote:
> > The following probably describes MS programmers more than it does any
> > of the regular posters in this news group ;)

> > If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
> > then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed
> > civilization.

> > Regards,

> >           ////
> >          (o o)
> > -oOO--(_)--OOo-

> > If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
> > more people happy?

> It is actually quite good, and funny too. The only objection I have to the
> comparison is that builders do not get to lay the foundation for the house
> only to learn that the customer has changed his mind and now does not want
> a
> four bedroom, three baths hous of 2500 sq feet, but a 10,000 sq feet
> warehouse with ramps for trucks, and office space for 60 employees.

It is funny.   But in both cases, the products work well enough that we get
the job done - We have lots of "woodpeckers" hitting on Windows irritating
us, but allowing us to work.


Tue, 24 Feb 2004 22:04:04 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...
In view of the building thread (original US English spellings retained):

Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need,
so you should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure
the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdowns for each configuration
so that I can arbitrarily pick one at a later time.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the
one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all
the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen
vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough
insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance
costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-
cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose
not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in
detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace
for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that
kitchen should be designed to accommodate (among other things) my 1952
Gibson refrigerator.

To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire family,
you will need to contact each of my children, and also our in-laws. My
mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should
be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that
you weigh all of thses options carefully and come to the right decision.
I, however, retain the right to overrule any decisions that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
develop the overall plans for the house and get the big picture. At this
time, for example, it is not appropriate to be chosing the color of the
carpeting. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build
the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and
specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the
house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It
therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus
of the potential homebuyers in my area that they like the features this
house has.

I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor build last
year, as we like it a great deal. It has many things that we feel we
also need in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With
careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new
house without impacting the construction cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this
time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later
design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this!
To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as soon as possible with your ideas and completed plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
Please advise me as soon a possible if this is the case.

--
Alistair Maclean



Sat, 28 Feb 2004 05:23:34 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...
And here I thought that the specs for the new Bill of Material system were
developed in-house. (Code name - 1 BOM).


Sat, 28 Feb 2004 12:26:58 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...
2001-09-14 22:22:22 MESZ

Quote:

> ... <most realistic story> ...

> --
> Alistair Maclean

Cool! You should also go into a writing
career like the other Alistair Maclean!

Herwig

--


Playton       http://www.Josella-Simone-Playton.de    2230
GruberStrasse 10 A / D-85655 GrossHelfenDorf / Bayern / EU



Wed, 03 Mar 2004 04:16:52 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...
I didn't write the article. I found it somewhere on the web.

The other Alistair Maclean wrote under a pseudonym. He is dead now so I
won't be following in his footsteps.



Quote:
>2001-09-14 22:22:22 MESZ


>> ... <most realistic story> ...

>> --
>> Alistair Maclean

>Cool! You should also go into a writing
>career like the other Alistair Maclean!

>Herwig

--
Alistair Maclean


Thu, 04 Mar 2004 17:06:41 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...

Quote:

> The other Alistair Maclean wrote under a pseudonym. He is dead now so I
> won't be following in his footsteps.

Well, actually, I think we all will, someday.......

MCM



Thu, 04 Mar 2004 20:39:43 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...


Quote:


> > The other Alistair Maclean wrote under a pseudonym. He is dead now so I
> > won't be following in his footsteps.

> Well, actually, I think we all will, someday.......

> MCM

Not me.

I have a contract signed in {*filter*} with this very nice man who traded my
worthless soul for "indefinite prolongation "...(Boy! Did HE get ripped
off...that soul was worth absolutely nothing...<G>)

There was a character in the "Hitchhikers Guide" who was indefinitely
prolonged. (as an ex-contract programmer, I can really relate to this...) To
fill in the time, he decided to insult every sentient being in the
Universe... This idea appeals to me immensely and I made a start some years
ago using Internet forums like this one...

Pete.

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Fri, 05 Mar 2004 08:05:01 GMT  
 OT: If Builders were Programmers...



Quote:





> > > The other Alistair Maclean wrote under a pseudonym. He is dead now so
I
> > > won't be following in his footsteps.

> > Well, actually, I think we all will, someday.......

> > MCM

> Not me.

> I have a contract signed in {*filter*} with this very nice man who traded my
> worthless soul for "indefinite prolongation "...(Boy! Did HE get ripped
> off...that soul was worth absolutely nothing...<G>)

> There was a character in the "Hitchhikers Guide" who was indefinitely
> prolonged. (as an ex-contract programmer, I can really relate to this...)
To
> fill in the time, he decided to insult every sentient being in the
> Universe... This idea appeals to me immensely and I made a start some
years
> ago using Internet forums like this one...

    The tricky part is insulting them in alphabetical order.  Since
people keep dieing and getting born, that is fairly difficult.  But it does
put it
back on topic, since doing this would require a good sort.

- Show quoted text -

Quote:

> Pete.

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Fri, 05 Mar 2004 12:58:57 GMT  
 
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