DC Y2K Weather Report # 11 
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 DC Y2K Weather Report # 11

    Cory Hamasaki's DC Y2K Weather Report # 11.
               "April 23 1997 - 982 days to go."

    (c) 1997 Cory Hamasaki - I grant permission to distribute and
reproduce this article as long as this entire document is reproduced in
its entirety including this notice.

Sunday April 20, 1997 - About 16 pages of Geek/Nerd wanted ads.
The ad count was off slightly, employers are saving their ad
budget for next week, April 27, 1997, High Tech Careers, a special
tabloid Recruitment Supplement in the Washington Post.

I urge everyone within 500 miles to get their copy.  The Post does
this quarterly and companies pull out all the stops, humor,
pleading, bragging about their location, weird graphics to get
your attention.  There will be lots to poke fun at and a few
serious opportunities.  I will work the local Wizard's rumor mill
to find out the true story behind the claims.

If there are any COBOL or other mainframe programmers who are not
earning a salary of $80,000/year, please look at next Sunday's
Washington Post and count the ads.  Mainframe skilled consultants
in this area should earn over $110,000/year and rates are
going up rapidly.

To be accurate, this is a miserable part of the country.  Taxes
are very high; crime is insane.  I just had a window broken in my
house. My friends at lunch all told stories about how their cars
have been trashed and robbed.  A programmer was beaten and robbed
in DC over the weekend,  his apartment was broken into and he was
forced to divulge his ATM PIN at gun point.  They clubbed him,
beat him, broke his teeth, taped his hands and feet.  After they
got the money they tried to drown him in his bathtub, he thrashed
and went limp, they left him for dead and looted his apartment.
He escaped by locking the bathroom door, kicking out the window
and leaping out.

Several of the gals at lunch talked about getting a firearm.
{*filter*}ia is a CCW state. What do think Frank?  A .44 Automag
sound about right as a personal defense cannon?  You never know
when an 800 lb Kodiak bear will attack you.  Maybe a 600 nitro
express loaded with depleted uranium slugs with carbide
penetrators.

The Post is at http://www.*-*-*.com/ follow the links to
the classified ad database and run your searches.  

Here're a few of the more interesting ads:

KPMG, aka Petey, ran a half page this week, lots of weird
management gibberish, incoherent babbling about metrics,
methodologies, CMM concepts, rapid prototyping, configuration
control boards, TQM, A-76 studies, and data warehousing, then at
the very end, the {*filter*} hits the road, Managers and Junior-level

<My gut feel, Petey represents the silliness of Washington DC, a
federal manager or a military officer is stuck in a computer
technology job, all he wants a paycheck, a promotion, his
retirement, and some personal gratification, food, sex, mice, and
rock and roll.  This poor sap is innundated by people just like
him and they see "methodologies" as a way to pretend to address
the issues. There is no "methodologies"; there is only code
cranking.>

DSTI, big ad for Y2K, MVS, SPF (note spelling, not ISPF but the
original 1970's spelling), ADABAS, SuperWylbur (an online text

probably play 1970's music too, the BeeGees, Donna Summers, disco
inferno.>

Blind ad, small but with a sense of humor, "COOL" in big letters,
Year 2000 project, email: INFO.smdi.com

SRA, big ad, lots of stuff with a paragraph on Y2K; ad says
professionals and managers. <A welcome change from Petey's request
for Junior-level (cheap),  I have a spy inside SRA who reports
that SRA is going after Y2K business.  They know they are behind

Andrulis, nice big ad wants X-geeks and VAX COBOL, but wait,
they're in San Diego and advertising in the Washington Post?

Sallie Mae, Big ad announcing an open house April 30th 4PM to 7PM,
all kinds of stuff including CICS and DB2.
http://www.*-*-*.com/ < I hope they have some snacks,
beer, -burrrp- excuuuse me;  they probably won't, so why bother.
Hey, let's fax bomb Sallie, tell them we want a drawing on 56K
modems, we want a beer keg, we want spicy chicken wings, chips,
pizza, a dance floor with music, one of my spies at Sallie is a
knock-out, body that won't quit, we wanna see you shake it Sallie,
shake your boodie, shake it all around. >

ASI big ad with weird graphics, MVS Systems programmer,
http://www.*-*-*.com/ <You want an MVS Systems programmer?  The
bidding starts at 6 figures.>

VIPS, COBOL, VSAM, MVS JCL for healthcare claims processing.
<They've been raided, geeks gone, tell-em Stick-em up.> fax: (410)
823-8333

Ritz Camera, nice ad, AS400 RPG, <They've been raided or old John
had a mid-life crisis, bailed out, now he's driving a Porsche
vanity plate LUVY2K, slapping the roof, and yelling
"Hubba-hubba".> Ritz, 6711 Ritz Way, Beltsville, MD 20705

Lots of other ads for AS/400 and several VAXen ads.  As
the midi-shops, usually 1-5 programmers, get raided, they quickly
discover that they are one or two employees from being out of
business.  

One ad spelled MVS as MRS.

---------------The reader mailbox--------------------------

An email question came in:

"A thought has just occurred to me.  If many companies do let
it go until the last minute and it does turn into a real crisis,
the government may step in and limit the amount  of money that
computer people can charge for  their services.  I think they can
do that if a  state of emergency is declared.  I am not sure
but it would not surprise me if something like this happened.  
What do you think ?"

Here're my stray ramblings:

Can't happen.  No one has figured out how to make someone do
creative work under the lash.  You can force a programmer to sit
in a room, run his fingers over the keyboard but you can't force
him to produce correct code.  If they cap rates at, say, $30/hour,
I'll spend 8 hours/day on moving code around aimlessly at $30/hour
and another 8 hours at $300/hour really making fixes at a black
market job.

In fact, I'll do the black market job first while I'm fresh, and
then go to my $30/hour job, put my head down and doze off.  If
they wake me, I'll say I was thinking.  You can prepare now; start
by telling people that you're developing a sensitivity to bright
lights and squint a lot;  after a couple weeks start wearing dark
glasses in doors.  Also train yourself to look at the monitor with
your head braced in your hands.  Do this when your boss is working
with you. "Uh-huh, look at this routine, the mm/dd/yy is overlayed
on the retention period."  After a few months, you'll be able to
sleep two or three hours a day and no one will notice.

If they put a cap on rates and try to enforce it, I'll write some
pointless utility program, "If you want my $30/hour services for
the next 6 months, you have to buy 'wink-wink' this valuable
utility program for two hundred thousand dollars."  

You could even resell my REDWOOD program, if you do, send me two
hundred bucks after they pay you the two hundred grand.

It's not as if we're doctors juicing the medicaid system.  We're
technologists who sell our services to private corporations.

Don't worry, when the dust settles in 2003, you will have a big
sack of money.  Plan on saving most of it, this is a once in a
lifetime opportunity.  This is bigger than the microprocessor was
in 1983, bigger than windows in 1989, this is big and all of us
programmers have a good chance to grab the gold ring.

If a programmer isn't a millionaire by 2003, they did something
wrong.  There's several ways to do it.  

1) Form a Five Guys COBOL Inc. and do it yourself.

2) Go the 1099 consultant, hired gun route, charge what the
market will bear.  Get a new higher contract every six months or
so.  How to get started?  Just doit, call Steve the Recruiter and
start now.

3) Remain an employee but only for a company that gives you
bonuses, stock equity, and save aggressively.  You may have to
change jobs a couple times to get your fair share.  Be sure to
negotiate for instant vesting.  If they want you, they have to
pay, and pay and pay.

In the case of 1) and 2) be sure that the contracts state that
your are providing service hours and not a guarenteed correct
solution.  In fact even as a 1099'er you may want to incorporate
to limit your liability.

-------------- more reports from insider spies --------

My man, 'shiny head', reports that his employer is starting to
panic.  He's seen the MIS director wanna-be's holding fearful
meetings; "it's big, we're stuck".  They run OS/390 and they
have lost (perhaps laid off) a lot of the hard core technical
people.

He shook his shiny head a lot, I needed my sun glasses.

'the crane' speaks:  .. is going to be bad..  ..impossible.. ..all
they're doing is study..  ..suffer..  ..nobody has a clue..
.dates can't fit the display..  ..I'm  writing programs today
that are not Y2KOK.. ..you'll have all the data but won't be able
to read it because the formats are changing.. ..wheels have fallen
off..

'The crane' was on a tear, yelling, frothing at the mouth, waving
his arms, eyes darting about.  Easy, big fellow, I'm on your side.

These are opinions from professional programmers with advanced
degrees and decades of software engineering experience.

I have been chatting with the Wizards and out of a dozen or two
hard-core code crankers, all except one thinks Y2K is too big
a problem to solve.   The general response is to cringe in fear
and say, I don't want to work on Y2K because it will fail and I
don't want to be involved in a disaster like this.

--------------- and a peek inside a 'corporation' ------

Meanwhile in La-La land, a bunch of senior execs are meeting
and laughing at each other's jokes, hahahahaha, looking at each ...

read more »



Tue, 12 Oct 1999 03:00:00 GMT  
 DC Y2K Weather Report # 11



Quote:
>     Cory Hamasaki's DC Y2K Weather Report # 11.
>                "April 23 1997 - 982 days to go."

>     (c) 1997 Cory Hamasaki - I grant permission to distribute and
> reproduce this article as long as this entire document is reproduced in
> its entirety including this notice.
> Ritz Camera, nice ad, AS400 RPG, <They've been raided or old John
> had a mid-life crisis, bailed out, now he's driving a Porsche
> vanity plate LUVY2K, slapping the roof, and yelling
> "Hubba-hubba".> Ritz, 6711 Ritz Way, Beltsville, MD 20705

That's interesting.  I printed the WR and gave it to a buddy here.  He's
currently doubled up in laughter.  When I asked him what part, he said the
"Ritz Camera Ad".  What?  Yeah he says bringing me over an invoice from
RITZ!  They want $150.00 for a minor camera repair.  

Who says inflation is dead!  It will rise as companies pass on the Y2K
remediation costs to their customers!  



Tue, 12 Oct 1999 03:00:00 GMT  
 DC Y2K Weather Report # 11

Quote:

> Several of the gals at lunch talked about getting a firearm.
> {*filter*}ia is a CCW state. What do think Frank?  A .44 Automag
> sound about right as a personal defense cannon?  You never know
> when an 800 lb Kodiak bear will attack you.  Maybe a 600 nitro
> express loaded with depleted uranium slugs with carbide
> penetrators.

Only if you can hit what you're aiming at.

My second favorite saying:

"A hit with a .22 is better than a miss with a cannon."

Of course, my favorite saying (also a bumper sticker):

"The Ultimate Feminine Protection:
        .44Mag for heavy days
        9mm for light days."

(Yes, I know, bad taste.  Sue me.)

In reality, all CCW/firearms ownership does is even the odds.  The ladies
should carry the largest caliber they can use accurately.  This varies from
person to person.  And it should not be considered a magic anti-bad-guy
talisman.

But I'm getting far afield of the primary purpose of this newsgroup.

(Sorry to answer so late, but this is when my server delivered the item)

---
Frank Ney  WV/EMT-B VA/EMT-A  N4ZHG  LPWV  NRA(L) GOA CCRKBA JPFO
Sponsor, BATF Abuse page   http://www.*-*-*.com/ ~croaker/batfabus.html
West {*filter*}ia Coordinator, Libertarian Second Amendment Caucus
NOTICE: Flaming email received will be posted to the appropriate newsgroups
- --
"...I am opposed to all attempts to license or restrict the arming of
individuals...I consider such laws a violation of civil liberty,
subversive of democratic political institutions, and self-defeating
in their purpose."
        - Robert Heinlein, in a 1949 letter concerning "Red Planet"



Sat, 16 Oct 1999 03:00:00 GMT  
 
 [ 3 post ] 

 Relevant Pages 

1. DC Y2K Weather Report (ALC 9, power, Time Machines, How Bad)

2. Available: DC Y2K Weather Report #17

3. DC Y2K Weather Report #3

4. DC Y2K Weather Report # 7

5. DC Y2K Weather Report # 4

6. gatherwrite Re: DC Y2K Weather Report # 4

7. DC Y2K Weather Report # 7

8. Available: DC Y2K Weather Report #17

9. DC Y2K Weather Report # 7

10. DC Y2K Weather Report #6

11. DC Y2K Weather Report # 4

12. DC Y2K Weather Report (Real GPS, ICBMs, ALC, 250K grant)

 

 
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