Y'all must read this it's very funny :-) 
Author Message
 Y'all must read this it's very funny :-)

Quote:
> If architects had to work like programmers.

> Dear Mr. Architect:

> Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
> need,
> so you should use your discretion.

> My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make
> sure
> the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
> When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
> what I
> want.  Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so
> that
> I can arbitrarily pick one.

> Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than
> the
> one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all

> the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my
> kitchen
> vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough

> insulation in them).

> As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
> maintenance
> costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of
> extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
> choose not
> to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
> Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
> are used
> in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the
> most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen
> should
> be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson
> refrigerator.

> To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire
> family,
> make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our
> in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the
> house
> should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make
> sure that
> you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
> decision. I,
> however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

> Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
> develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this
> time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
> the
> carpet.  However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

> Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build

> the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and

> specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect
> the
> house to be under roof within 48 hours.

> While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
> that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It
> therefore
> should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make
> sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the
> population in my area that they like the features this house has.

> I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed
> last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would
> also
> like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With
> careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new
> house without impacting the final cost.

> Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at
> this
> time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
> construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
> accountable for any
> increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

> You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as
> this!
> To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
> such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very
> often.
> Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

> PS:  My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
> instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
> responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
> and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
> responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

> PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
> Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

Richard


Tue, 11 Jul 2000 03:00:00 GMT  
 Y'all must read this it's very funny :-)

Quote:


>>> If architects had to work like programmers.

>>> Dear Mr. Architect:

>>> Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
>>> need,
>>> so you should use your discretion.

>>> My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make
>>> sure
>>> the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
>>> When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
>>> what I
>>> want.  Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so
>>> that
>>> I can arbitrarily pick one.

>>> Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than
>>> the
>>> one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all

>>> the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my
>>> kitchen
>>> vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough

>>> insulation in them).

>>> As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
>>> maintenance
>>> costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of
>>> extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
>>> choose not
>>> to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
>>> Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
>>> are used
>>> in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the
>>> most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen
>>> should
>>> be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson
>>> refrigerator.

>>> To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire
>>> family,
>>> make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our
>>> in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the
>>> house
>>> should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make
>>> sure that
>>> you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
>>> decision. I,
>>> however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

>>> Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
>>> develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this
>>> time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
>>> the
>>> carpet.  However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

>>> Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build

>>> the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and

>>> specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect
>>> the
>>> house to be under roof within 48 hours.

>>> While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
>>> that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It
>>> therefore
>>> should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make
>>> sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the
>>> population in my area that they like the features this house has.

>>> I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed
>>> last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would
>>> also
>>> like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With
>>> careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new
>>> house without impacting the final cost.

>>> Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at
>>> this
>>> time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
>>> construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
>>> accountable for any
>>> increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

>>> You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as
>>> this!
>>> To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
>>> such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very
>>> often.
>>> Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

>>> PS:  My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
>>> instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
>>> responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
>>> and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
>>> responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

>>> PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
>>> Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

>>Richard

>PPPS:  I almost forgot to mention the lawn, the driveway, and the
>garage.  We are currently very happy with them all, so you can use
>them just as you are -- with a few minor adjustments.

>We would like to have the presently detached garage attached to the
>house.  Also, we would like it to be a little bigger, and the color
>doesn't quite match the color of the new house, so that will need to
>be changed.  We should also fix that tiny little leak in the roof too.
>You shouldn't have to do much for it (although one contractor did
>mention that all of the supports were rotting, so you might as well
>replace those while you're at it).

>The driveway is perfect, except we would like is about 5 feet to the
>left, and a foot or so wider.

>The lawn is pretty good, although we would hate the way that water
>pools up in the back by the wall.  If you could just even that off a
>bit, it would be perfect.

>Well, I'm sure that you are glad to hear that it will be so much
>easier.  Being able to use the garage and all should cut quite a bit
>of the work off of the project, making it cheaper and faster.

>PPPPS:  I also have a couple of friends on the block that would like a
>couple of minor things done while you're in the neighborhood.  Could
>you go ahead and work those things in while you're at it?  It wouldn't
>add much, and sure would be nice....

>Dave



PPPPS.  We do need to keep one bedroom from the current house in the new
house.  It was built to meet the 1865 building code - but I am certain that
you will have no trouble bringing it up to current code - without changing
the way it looks.

PPPPPPS.  Did I remember to tell you that I don't really know where the road
is that the driveway has to connect with?  The local police force has told
us that we are not allowed to look at any streets - but that they can tell
us what a dirveway entrance needs to look like (but they may be changing
that at any time in the future - still without letting you see the street
itself).



Tue, 11 Jul 2000 03:00:00 GMT  
 Y'all must read this it's very funny :-)


Quote:
>> If architects had to work like programmers.

>> Dear Mr. Architect:

>> Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
>> need,
>> so you should use your discretion.

>> My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make
>> sure
>> the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
>> When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
>> what I
>> want.  Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so
>> that
>> I can arbitrarily pick one.

>> Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than
>> the
>> one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all

>> the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my
>> kitchen
>> vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough

>> insulation in them).

>> As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
>> maintenance
>> costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of
>> extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
>> choose not
>> to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
>> Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
>> are used
>> in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the
>> most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen
>> should
>> be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson
>> refrigerator.

>> To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire
>> family,
>> make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our
>> in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the
>> house
>> should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make
>> sure that
>> you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
>> decision. I,
>> however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

>> Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
>> develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this
>> time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
>> the
>> carpet.  However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

>> Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build

>> the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and

>> specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect
>> the
>> house to be under roof within 48 hours.

>> While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
>> that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It
>> therefore
>> should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make
>> sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the
>> population in my area that they like the features this house has.

>> I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed
>> last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would
>> also
>> like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With
>> careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new
>> house without impacting the final cost.

>> Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at
>> this
>> time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
>> construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
>> accountable for any
>> increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

>> You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as
>> this!
>> To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
>> such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very
>> often.
>> Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

>> PS:  My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
>> instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
>> responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
>> and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
>> responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

>> PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
>> Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

>Richard

PPPS:  I almost forgot to mention the lawn, the driveway, and the
garage.  We are currently very happy with them all, so you can use
them just as you are -- with a few minor adjustments.

We would like to have the presently detached garage attached to the
house.  Also, we would like it to be a little bigger, and the color
doesn't quite match the color of the new house, so that will need to
be changed.  We should also fix that tiny little leak in the roof too.
You shouldn't have to do much for it (although one contractor did
mention that all of the supports were rotting, so you might as well
replace those while you're at it).

The driveway is perfect, except we would like is about 5 feet to the
left, and a foot or so wider.

The lawn is pretty good, although we would hate the way that water
pools up in the back by the wall.  If you could just even that off a
bit, it would be perfect.

Well, I'm sure that you are glad to hear that it will be so much
easier.  Being able to use the garage and all should cut quite a bit
of the work off of the project, making it cheaper and faster.

PPPPS:  I also have a couple of friends on the block that would like a
couple of minor things done while you're in the neighborhood.  Could
you go ahead and work those things in while you're at it?  It wouldn't
add much, and sure would be nice....

Dave




Wed, 12 Jul 2000 03:00:00 GMT  
 Y'all must read this it's very funny :-)


Quote:



>>>> If architects had to work like programmers.

>>>> Dear Mr. Architect:

>>>> Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
>>>> need,
>>>> so you should use your discretion.

>>>> My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make
>>>> sure
>>>> the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted.
>>>> When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
>>>> what I
>>>> want.  Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so
>>>> that
>>>> I can arbitrarily pick one.

>>>> Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than
>>>> the
>>>> one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all

>>>> the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my
>>>> kitchen
>>>> vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough

>>>> insulation in them).

>>>> As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
>>>> maintenance
>>>> costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of
>>>> extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you
>>>> choose not
>>>> to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
>>>> Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials
>>>> are used
>>>> in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the
>>>> most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen
>>>> should
>>>> be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson
>>>> refrigerator.

>>>> To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire
>>>> family,
>>>> make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our
>>>> in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the
>>>> house
>>>> should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make
>>>> sure that
>>>> you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
>>>> decision. I,
>>>> however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

>>>> Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
>>>> develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this
>>>> time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
>>>> the
>>>> carpet.  However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

>>>> Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build

>>>> the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and

>>>> specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect
>>>> the
>>>> house to be under roof within 48 hours.

>>>> While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
>>>> that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It
>>>> therefore
>>>> should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make
>>>> sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the
>>>> population in my area that they like the features this house has.

>>>> I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed
>>>> last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would
>>>> also
>>>> like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With
>>>> careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new
>>>> house without impacting the final cost.

>>>> Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at
>>>> this
>>>> time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
>>>> construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
>>>> accountable for any
>>>> increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

>>>> You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as
>>>> this!
>>>> To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
>>>> such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very
>>>> often.
>>>> Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

>>>> PS:  My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the
>>>> instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your
>>>> responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past
>>>> and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this
>>>> responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

>>>> PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer.
>>>> Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

>>>Richard

>>PPPS:  I almost forgot to mention the lawn, the driveway, and the
>>garage.  We are currently very happy with them all, so you can use
>>them just as you are -- with a few minor adjustments.

>>We would like to have the presently detached garage attached to the
>>house.  Also, we would like it to be a little bigger, and the color
>>doesn't quite match the color of the new house, so that will need to
>>be changed.  We should also fix that tiny little leak in the roof too.
>>You shouldn't have to do much for it (although one contractor did
>>mention that all of the supports were rotting, so you might as well
>>replace those while you're at it).

>>The driveway is perfect, except we would like is about 5 feet to the
>>left, and a foot or so wider.

>>The lawn is pretty good, although we would hate the way that water
>>pools up in the back by the wall.  If you could just even that off a
>>bit, it would be perfect.

>>Well, I'm sure that you are glad to hear that it will be so much
>>easier.  Being able to use the garage and all should cut quite a bit
>>of the work off of the project, making it cheaper and faster.

>>PPPPS:  I also have a couple of friends on the block that would like a
>>couple of minor things done while you're in the neighborhood.  Could
>>you go ahead and work those things in while you're at it?  It wouldn't
>>add much, and sure would be nice....

>>Dave


>PPPPS.  We do need to keep one bedroom from the current house in the new
>house.  It was built to meet the 1865 building code - but I am certain that
>you will have no trouble bringing it up to current code - without changing
>the way it looks.

>PPPPPPS.  Did I remember to tell you that I don't really know where the road
>is that the driveway has to connect with?  The local police force has told
>us that we are not allowed to look at any streets - but that they can tell
>us what a dirveway entrance needs to look like (but they may be changing
>that at any time in the future - still without letting you see the street
>itself).

Of course, the roads shouldn't really be a problem.  We have other
roads in our city that are pretty much like it.  You can't see them
either, and maybe they aren't really that much like it, but it proves
that you should have no trouble.  Besides, by talking to the
neighbors, you should be able to get a pretty good idea what the city
is like.  We are exactly sure what it looks like, but then, we haven't
had to talk to *all* of the neighbors.  I did notice a driveway
entrance I really like, but I can't remember where.  I guess it is for
a fast food resturant anyway.

PPPPPPPS:  Now, let's talk about security.....

Dave




Thu, 13 Jul 2000 03:00:00 GMT  
 
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