Quote:
> > [a non-grumpy reply to an article where grumpiness was due]
> Hey, you could just delete ziz article!
The following BHRF is in regards to the collected postings of the quoted idiot.
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
comp.lang.c version
(original by David Parsons)
(modified by David Fetter and Kurt Schumacher)
(comp.lang.c bits by Alan Curry)
Dear:
_X_ Klewless Wonder _X_ Lamer ___ Spammer
_X_ Password cracker wannabe ___ Terminal junkie ___ BorlandBoy
___ Netcruiser idiot _X_ Dumbass _X_ Moron
_X_ Warez kiddie _X_ Loser _X_ Newbie
___ Homework cheater ___ Microserf
I took exception to your recent _X_ posts to _comp.lang.c_________.
(newsgroup)
___ email
They were (check all that apply):
_X_ Stupid.
_X_ Boring.
_X_ Much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
You are being flamed because:
_X_ What you posted/said has been done before.
(Mark only if above checked)
_X_ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
___ Your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of ____________________.
(net.personality)
___ Your post/mail originated on ___ FidoNet
___ Delphi
___ AOL
___ Compuserve
___ Prodigy
___ MSN
___ You posted using Netscape.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ And it turned your post into a mini-spam of ___ identical posts.
___ And it failed to insert a newline between the quoted text and
your original text.
___ Your post was in HTML.
___ Which was appended to the ASCII version.
___ Your post/mail originated from the anon service.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ You felt this gave you a license to be a 'tard.
(Mark only if above checked)
the anon disclaimer under "inappropriate use".
_X_ You posted without reading the FAQ.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ You asked a question listed in the FAQ's index.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ You matched it word for word.
___ You posted an IAQ.
___ You answered an IAQ.
___ Like in the IAQ itself.
___ Word for word.
___ Your answer is a candidate for the IAQ.
___ You posted an obvious homework assignment.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Without even trying to hide it.
___ Your attempt to hide it as a contest failed.
___ Miserably.
_X_ You suggested that posting without reading the FAQ should be tolerated.
___ You suggested that a moderated comp.lang.c should be created.
___ You asked a question that was recently answered in this newsgroup.
___ Your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, or
Notesfile.
___ You asked for an FTP site for {*filter*} pictures.
___ You posted a request for {*filter*} email.
___ You posted a request for *HOT*BI*BABES*.
___ You posted a chain letter.
___ You posted a survey.
___ You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message.
_X_ You suck.
___ You posted a personal ad to a non-personals group.
___ You posted a job offer.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ And you are a recruiter who just doesn't care.
___ You posted a "test" in a non-test newsgroup.
___ You posted a binary file to a non-binary newsgroup.
___ You posted in comp.lang.c because
(Mark only if above checked)
___ comp.std.c didn't answer your off-topic post.
___ After you posted it three times there.
___ Which your Netscape turned into a nine post mini spam.
___ The moderators of comp.lang.c.moderated rejected it.
___ You posted C++ code to a C group.
(Mark only if above also)
___ And your C++ code was pathetically wrong.
___ You claim that C is a subset of C++.
___ You claim that C++ is a superset of C.
___ All of the above.
___ You followed up to above saying "C++ doesn't belong on this group" and
you didn't realize you were crossposting to comp.lang.c++.
___ You mentioned ___ nonstandard library function(s).
(Mark all that apply)
___ getch()
___ clrscr()
___ kbhit()
___ bzero() and/or bcopy()
___ strcasecmp(), stricmp(), strnicmp(), or strncasecmp()
___ FindFirst() and/or FindNext()
___ PC BIOS calls
___ Other ____________________________________.
_X_ You mentioned _1_ nonstandard language features:
(Mark all that apply)
___ void main
___ int32, u_int16, etc.
___ inline functions
___ asm(), __asm__(), etc.
___ far pointers
___ fork
_X_ Other _stdcall_and_friends________________.
_X_ You mentioned _1_ nonstandard headers:
(Mark all that apply)
___ <conio.h>
___ <dos.h>
___ <unistd.h>
___ <malloc.h>
_X_ Other _<vcl\vcl.h>_and_others_I_have_blissfully_forgotten_.
_X_ You mentioned _1_ OS specific features:
(Mark all that apply)
_X_ DLLs
___ shared libraries
___ interrupts
___ processes
___ serial communications
___ printers
___ threads
___ Other ___________________________________.
___ You said that since your nonstandard feature/function is supported by
both Borland *and* Microsoft, it should be considered standard.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ And you prohibited MSN from carrying your post.
___ You misquoted from or made false claims about ISO 9899:1990.
___ Because you quoted someone else's misquote.
___ You never read it.
___ You quoted from the Schildt version including the fly specks.
___ You haven't look at Amendment One and TCs.
_X_ Your post contains the following instantiations of bogosity:
___ "Works for me"
___ When in fact it doesn't.
_X_ "Hope this helps"
_X_ When it's hopeless.
___ Your question is based on the assumption that stdout is a screen and
stdin is a keyboard.
___ Your question is based on the assumption that all computers *have*
screens and keyboards.
___ You suggested micro-optimizations.
___ And asserted that ++i; is faster than i = i + 1;
___ Your post contained commercial advertising.
THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please remit immediately to:
Usenet News
Network Security & Standards Patrol
3 Cielo Vista Terrace
Monterey, CA 93940
or your posting privileges will be canceled.
_X_ Your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
_X_ Your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ Your post contains
___ MIME encoded
___ uuencoded
___ otherwise encoded (please specify: ___________)
___ C source.
___ C++ source.
___ core dumps.
___ screen shots.
_X_ You {*filter*}ed about being told to take your OS-specific questions to an
OS-specific group.
___ You attempted to start a flamewar by asking "What is the best compiler
for windows/mac/Unix etc."
___ You fell for a troll/flamebait.
___ On April 1st.
___ You do not know how to recognize sarcasm.
___ Even when you've been warned.
___ You bragged about your reputation as a C guru among all your other
Borlandite friends.
___ You constantly flame and insult people using an anonymous account or a
fake/ambiguous userhost.
___ You asked for flash.c, nuke.c, or another destructive program/script.
_X_ You flamed someone for flaming newbies.
___ You suggested that we be nice to newbies.
___ You were grumpy for no reason at all.
_X_ You were nice where you should have been grumpy.
_X_ You pretend to have a clue when it is obvious that you don't.
___ You flamed the group because nobody answered your question.
___ You started a long, stupid thread.
___ You continued a long, stupid thread.
___ You posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission.
___ You posted a "rmgroup" message without Bruce Becker's permission.
___ Your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ It was done clumsily.
_X_ You have a lame login name.
_X_ Your machine has a stupid name.
___ You quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
___ You quoted an empty article.
___ And it was a followup.
___ To your own article.
___ You posted an original article/letter with no new text and no quoted text.
_X_ You quoted an article/letter in followup and only added _1_ lines
of text.
___ You quoted an article in followup and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
___ You predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
___ You asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".
_X_ You flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ One of the Holy Trinity
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Dan
___ Peter
___ Lawrence
___ You quoted authorities in a false attempt to prove your point
___ One of the other Holy Trinity
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Clive D. W.
___ Tanmoy
___ Doug
___ and said authority feels ashamed to be misused this way.
___ You haven't grasped a detailed explanation.
___ Not even when brought to you by Steve Summit.
___ Not even after a private email lesson by Steve.
___ You sided with
___ Scott Nudds
___ ACL
___ and everybody knew she was just being
...
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Dynamic Link Libraries