What are the differences between C++ and smalltalk?
There aren't any differences. The foundation of all software languages is
what is known as the "Universal P-Code", a risc engine controlled by a
secret order, of which I am a member, headquartered on the island of
Malta. This secret universal p-code (a constant in fact, code-named "p"
for secrecy's sake) has a byte value of 4. Of course "byte" is itself
an artifice derived from "p" (the derivation is too complex to explain here.)
All computers, and all languages are based on "p". They all offer at
best a feeble imitation of "p"'s power, elegance, and intuitiveness.
I can make this statement because all computer languages are the invention
of me and the other members of the Order of the .. Oops! I almost let it
slip. Every couple of years, we get together in our castle, drink a
couple of truckloads of Pepsi, whoop it up playing Pong, and amuse
ourselves by inventing a "new" language. We shove some manuals and a
delivery medium into a box, and let the marketing people have at it.
If you promise not to tell anyone, I can give you some sneak previews of
some languages that we'll be releasing soon:
"RaceHorse" - It's fast. Really, it's fast. It comes with blinders so
that you can ignore the other languages (also invented by us, of course),
that claim to be as fast. RaceHorse replaces an earlier, similar
language, which we have retired, called "Stud". Did I mention it's fast?
"Faith" - It's better, lots better than those other languages. They're
simply _not as good_. We don't have any benchmarks to prove it, but at
least in the demo, it turns procedural code into OO code. Earplugs
included, so you can ignore the criticism that the OO code doesn't
actually do anything. We're planning to call next year's version "Visual
Faith" - you'll have to see it to believe it.
"Fancy" - This is the language for people who don't like to get their
hands dirty. There's no work involved. It's easy, it's new-age. OK,
basically it's a demo. Recommended for employees of very large
programming staffs. The continually running demo alternately displays
"compiling" or "debugging" on the screen. For those who work in a
cubicle, the "Professional Developers" edition (an additional $495)
parrots the sound of rapid typing on a keyboard. We're hoping to develop
an ANSI standard for the language.
"B-" - the successor to C++. All vestiges of C have been removed.
Actually, the inventor of B- recently died, and the Grand High Council of
the Order of the ...(Yikes! almost did it again), hasn't decided who will
inherit the rights to the language, or even if the rights are protected.
There currently rages a debate within the Order, whether the announcement
of access to the language should be a private (within the Order only) or
public declaration. So far the dispute appears to be virtually
"Simple" - the successor to Basic. Anyone can use it to make working
programs, quickly and easily. Optionally delivered with nose plugs for
programmers who think it smells bad.
"ZealTalk" - The successor to all current versions of Smalltalk.
There are no changes in the language, since Smalltalk devotees insist
that the language is perfect in all ways - faster than RaceHorse
(Smalltalk people have interesting benchmarks), better than Faith (can't
be proved, though), and nowhere nearly as smelly as B- and Simple.
Gotta run - the marketing people want me to pick up some prayer rugs on
the way to the castle.
Knight of the Order of the (Censored)
Argyles crossed over Keds, Garbage Collectors Rampant, Eyelid pendulant,
Smoke obscuring, Snake Oil flowing, Holy Grail a-Chasing.